Bri Colorful

Archive for June 2010

Sweet Mercy

Posted on: June 15, 2010

“Acknowledge your efforts.”

The mirror, the scale, the criticism weren’t the answer.  I knew it, but it was an easier fix.  It’s easier to do something without thought than to change your heart. But my heart got sick and I started to drown in what had filled the empty space in my mind.   I reached up and thankfully there was a whole boat-full of women who knew exactly how it felt to drown. They pulled me up word by sweet word, thought by sweet thought.

You have to remind yourself who you are and that you are of worth. Everyday. Sometimes every hour. You are strong. You are beautiful. You have to forgive your mistakes. You have to do things for the right reasons. There is not a quick fix.  But the alternative is so much more mercifully sweet. I like sweets.



Posted on: June 6, 2010

“We cannot gauge the worth of another soul any more than we can measure the span of the universe. Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father. Once we understand that, we can begin to understand how we should treat our fellowmen.” — Elder Uchtdorf

I want to always give others the benefit of the doubt that I hope they give me. The more I learn, the less I realize I know. The world judges us by so many things: our looks, our education, our employment, etc. None of these are true measures of our worth. Each of you is infinite in your worth; I am infinite in my worth . . . no matter what.

Life pulls me along at an incredible rate and the force of it all, despite the exhilaration, sometimes makes me long to return to the place where I had my feet on the ground. But if I did, would I still view it in wonder and pay the token for another ride?

I talked to my academic advisor today and she said there are some classes I’m not required to take. What this means is that if I go full-time from now until August 2011, I will finally graduate with my Bachelor’s degree in English (at the same time as my husband and sister-in-law). What a g-r-a-n-d day that will be!! It has been a struggle for me to learn to juggle new responsibilities since two years ago when I married, moved three states from home, and enrolled at Brigham Young University.

I am grateful for everything I have learned and continue to learn each day, most of which has nothing to do with English. A teacher in a class I work in today asked us a question at the end of lecture that truly struck me. He had been lecturing about Lincoln’s 2nd Inagural Address near the close of the Civil War. I cannot summarize his great words so I quote them here:

With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation’s wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan–to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations.

The professor concluded his lecture with this question: what will we go forth and do after our education comes to an end? The sign on the edge of campus says “go forth to serve.”  He promised us this: “if you go forth from your University experience without malice and with charity, that’s how you can make a difference.” His words sunk slowly into my spirit one by one like burning pieces of gold. I knew he was right.

That is all I came here to learn.

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