Bri Colorful

His and Hers

Posted on: October 8, 2010

My friends who are not members of my faith sometimes wonder how an LDS woman can relegate herself to the role of subordinate house-cleaner and chef when she marries.  These friends are confused about gender roles in LDS faith and culture. In my family, the husband does the vacumning and I fold the laundry. 🙂

Husbands and wives should strive to be unified.

Husbands and wives make a commitment to support, encourage, and love one other which often takes selflessness and sometimes personal sacrifice. Love is like a flower which requires constant nourishment if it is to stay as beautiful as the day it bloomed. Husbands and wives have a duty to nourish their marriage and cherish their partner forever. A person is never more beautiful than when they know they are truly loved.

Husbands and wives should also work together as “equal partners” in the rearing of their children. How the work of raising a family is divided differs from family to family. In all cases, husbands preside over the family. What this means is that they stand in for the Jesus Christ: their weighty responsibility is to direct the family as they feel He would if He were there. They are responsible for protecting and providing for their families. Wives are “primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”

sometimes he even scours the shower

Individual circumstances sometimes require us to support and balance out our spouse in different ways. Husbands and wives work as a team. Sometimes my husband does the vacumning AND the laundry. A husband’s role as father goes beyond just providing, protecting, and presiding. They also play, discipline, change diapers, and do housework.

A wife’s main role is to nurture. Her role may also extend to helping her husband provide for the family. I feel comfortable and happy as a nurturer and a little sad when I am unable to fill that role. Right now my husband and I are both busy students and employees. We have to balance roles a little differently then may be in the future. But I think if both people are always as unselfish as possible, there is no reason why division of labor should interfere with marital satisfaction. Some of my favorite memories are cooking together with Grant, dancing around our small apartment together picking things up, and late night grocery shopping trips.

I think the balance and flexibility is good. For my marriage, it creates a sense of unified purpose. We are a team, and we can only win if we work together.

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3 Responses to "His and Hers"

This was beautiful. Thanks for sharing 🙂 you make marriage look like something that, though it requires work, is fulfilling, rewarding and worth the sacrifices. It makes a very refreshing change from the attitudes and views of far too many in our generation. Thankyou for your strong example!

This is very well said. Thank you for setting the record straight so beautifully.

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