Bri Colorful

Santa Extortion

Posted on: November 24, 2011

So we went with my sister (and the kids she nannies) to visit Santa at the mall yesterday. Grant had to work but I told him I’d take pictures and send them right to his phone so he could take part in experience.

Except that didn’t work cause Santa is an extortionist.

“$16 for a photo with Santa and no you may not snap one with your own camera or phone,” chimed an angry little elf. Since when does Santa charge
children? I guess the elves probably went on strike because they received so little wages for all the iPads and pods they’re making this Christmas. I mean, that is a lot of work. That may’ve forced the big man’s hand. Still, I’m not sure I can justify $16 for one measly non-digital copy of a photo of my son sitting on a big guy in a red suit (even for the elves).

Only then I realize… He’s not even wearing the suit. No really. He’s dressed in a cheap looking green shirt and suspenders. Wow, all that holiday work must really be tiring him out if he can’t even manage to get dressed to meet kids. Oh but maybe Coke Cola has decided to copyright the suit and charge royalties on the use of the image.

So we forgo capturing the memory and just let Bracko sit on the guy’s lap. Then he offers him a sucker. And by this point I’m finding every fault I can in this charitable holiday figure … He only has suckers. What about diabetic kids or kids too young for sugar?

The best part of the whole thing was the 8yo girl my sister nannies. When Santa asked if shed been a good girl this year her face went as white as sheet. It was like she thought: “Oh crap. He really asks that question?!” After some cajoling she gave him a guilty sounding “yeah”. When questioned about it later she said she just wanted to be honest. Love that girl.

The day was well redeemed though when Grant was able to go with us to see the lights at the Riverwoods shopping center later that evening and there he was… The real Santa Claus. Red suit, no extortion, and toy rubber ducks as well as candy canes. Thanks Santa!

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4 Responses to "Santa Extortion"

Gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find Santa! Look at Bracko’s face – HE knows the real thing when he sees it!

Great Santa! The real one comes to the mall by our house, too. We’re lucky. Nice guy and he has let us snap our own pics before (although I usually buy the photo DVD and use it for my Christmas cards). 🙂

Merry 1st Christmas Bracko! xox

Aw, looove that photo where the baby is smiling!

Fake Santas ruin the spirit of Christmas. Glad you found the real one.

I personally know the “real” fully bearded, bowl-full-of-jelly Santa. Much like Tim Allen, he fell into the role then fell in love with it. I know how much he hates the commercialism of the season. It takes a special kind of person to wear the red suit and win the hearts of children, even the skeptical boys who have to test if the beard is real or attached with spirit gum. Having played Father Christmas, I can tell you that that outfit is designed to keep you warm in cold conditions. Air conditioned malls are generally not cold, so I’d cut Santa a little slack if he is not always in full red suit attire. The photo’s of Bracken with the real Santa are very good. He has a wonder in his eyes. Glad you found him.

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